Some Contemplation...

             Jesuit priest and Professor of Theology and Ethics Dean Brackley defined contemplation as follows: “paying close attention to reality and allowing the truth to sink in, penetrate us, and stir our feelings and thoughts. […] action and contemplation are complementary […].”[1]

            This past semester, I took a course entitled Christian Discernment and Decision Making and I was truly blessed by my small group members in this class.  The last night of class we circled up and each member wrote a short paragraph about each member, basically saying what they appreciated about that specific person and what strengths and gifts they saw.  Their encouraging words meant so much to me.  They stated that I was a leader as well as a great listener.  The strengths and gifts they saw in me opened my eyes and infiltrated my heart with encouragement and enlightenment.  The truth in their writings truly affirmed that I am on the right vocational path.  For the last part of our written final, we were to contemplate and reflect on the words our members wrote to us, so this is my contemplation.  As usual, God really spoke through their words.

            What struck me most was what Valdez – one of the small group members who is from the Bahamas – pointed out.  He wrote, “You are without a doubt a strong leader and I would argue that resilience is one of your stronger qualities.”  This word ‘resilience’ really caught me off guard.  I have always considered myself to be a person who is timid in spirit, usually being afraid of any conflict or confrontation.  For me ‘resilience’ meant the opposite of what I thought I was.  This word baffled me so much that I looked up its definition.  Resilience is defined as “the power or ability to return to the original form, position, etc., after being bent, compressed, or stretched; elasticity.”[2]  The words that I italicized in that definition really hit home.  It recalled a specific scriptural passage to my mind: “We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.”[3] 

            As I continued to struggle with this word, God gently revealed to me that it did indeed suit me.  Though I may have gone through many trials and tribulations in my life, my faith in Christ has been constant.  It is the foundation that I always hold onto and return to after being bent, compressed, and stretched.  So, maybe I am resilient.  As I grow in my faith and education my views are being challenged and pressed from every angle.  Even though some of my thoughts and convictions have changed, they are only the stretch marks of my continual growth, because at the core, my salvation in Christ is unchanging.   

            God Bless You all and may you always be attuned to God's quiet yet powerful voice. 

         -Pip Q.

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[1] Brackley, Dean. The Call to Discernment in Troubled Times, pp. 225.

[2] www.dictionary.com. Emphasis added.

[3] 2 Corinthians 4:8-9.  In New International Version Bible. www.gatewaybible.com.

A Little Poetry...

    Well, I am finally back! It has been way too long since I last posted and I apologize for that! Its the last week of classes and finals are looming over my head.  I will post later about a really cool answer to prayer that happened over Thanksgiving, but for now, I wanted to share a couple poems I wrote for my Christian Suffering and Healing class.  The first poem, you may recognize this Biblical story :) It is found in the Gospels: Mark 5:24-32, Luke 8:42-47, Matthew 9:18-22.  The second poem is from C. S. Lewis' book A Grief Observed and in this book he is reflecting and writing about his grief process after losing his wife to cancer.  Both poems are an expression of using reflective imagination to draw deep meaning from each text.  I hope you enjoy!

Poem #1:

No one. 

No one has been able to fix me.
For I have sought out many, but all failed to heal;
The true issue never to be revealed. 

As I painfully carry my bleeding body full of sores,
Through a sea of people who care for me no more,
I see the One, and His essence calls out to mine.
Who is this man? It is Him I must find!

If only I can touch Him, touch the fringe of His robe,
I know my pain and illness will forth go.
As I push hastily through the crowd,
A new determination I am endowed.
Closer and closer I draw to my goal,
My faith ever growing deep within my soul.

Finally, He is within my arms reach,
And with one last push, I take a fateful leap.
As I fall to the dirt road,
My fingers gently graze His weathered robe.

 

Instantly, my entire being was made clean,
As the man turned and asked, “Who touched me?”
While He turned, His eyes gracefully met mine,
And in that moment I knew I was in the presence of the Divine.
Scared and trembling I admitted, “Lord, I touched you … It was me.”
But He lovingly replied, “Take heart, my daughter, your faith has made you clean.”

Who would have known that after many years of pain and strife,
That touching this man’s clothes would give me new life.
The old is gone, and the new is come.
Without a doubt, my old life is done.
I will live my life proclaiming His name
Because surely I met the one true God today.

Poem #2:

Hello? You there? Are You even around?

Ever since You took her from me,
You annoyingly cannot be found. 
She and I were one flesh.  That was who we were.
But what am I now, God, without her?


I have all these feelings deep within me.
Perhaps You know them,
Grief, confusion, pain, anger, misery?
But what do You care, God! You aren’t even listening.
For what am I now, but half a man who is suffering. 

As the days drag on without answers … and without her,
My emotions and feelings begin to change and differ. 
Numbness and fear disorient my being,
For the God I once knew, I am no longer seeing.
 

As I come to the bottom of this dark valley,

I turn to the empty pedestal where God once sat so highly.
I cry out with one final petty lament,
“WHERE ARE YOU, GOD?! Your absence I resent!”
And with that last word, I turned back around,
To face the Lord I so eagerly longed to have found.

Nothing was said.  But we simply began to walk,
And in our silence, our hearts began to talk.
As we continued our journey together,
My heart soon became lighter and lighter.
In those moments I had spent with Him,
A new revelation did begin.

As I recalled and reminisced, 
I realized that I had not been alone through all of this,
My emotions were real, though at times vain and fickle.
But I now understood that I’d never be given more than I could handle.
And with this realization, I turned to the God-man beside me,
To only see one pair of foot prints lay behind me. 
But in those footprints I finally did see,
That God had faithfully brought me out of Death Valley.

     ***God has so wonderfully created us with the imagination and I hope that you can utilize these poems in a relflective manner. ***

Peace and Many Blessings,

Pip Q.